I Move the Goalpost on Myself: Therapy for Perfectionism and Goal Stuckness
- ✓I finally hit my goal and felt... nothing. Just emptiness.
- ✓My partner says I'm never satisfied, always chasing the next thing
- ✓Every achievement just raises the bar higher—and I hate myself for not being there yet
You're not broken. You're caught in a pattern where achievement became your only way to feel okay.
According to research, nearly 30 percent of people struggle with perfectionism that makes goals feel never-ending. It's not just you—and it's not a character flaw.
That hollow feeling after success isn't you being ungrateful—it's your system stuck in a self-criticism loop. This pattern often starts when 'good enough' stopped feeling safe, and achievement became your proof of worth. It shows up in [career perfectionism](/topics/life-direction/career-direction) too, where no title feels like enough.
Why Goals Never Feel Like Enough
The pattern happens when your internal argument—'I should be satisfied, but I'm not'—is actually a values conflict in disguise. Your goals may have been built on external 'shoulds' rather than what truly matters to you (ACT research shows this disconnect fuels chronic dissatisfaction). This creates self-criticism loops where each achievement just triggers the next 'not enough' thought. It's exhausting because you're not moving toward what you want; you're running from a fear of being average. If this sounds like [decision-making anxiety](/topics/life-direction/decision-making-anxiety), that's because perfectionism often makes every choice feel high-stakes.
Signs Your Goals Are Never Enough
- •**The Achievement Hangover:** You cross the finish line and feel... numb. No pride, just 'what's next?'
- •**Bar-Moving Is Automatic:** You hit a target, and your brain instantly sets a higher one without permission.
- •**Comparison Is Constant:** You measure progress against others' highlight reels, never your own starting line.
- •**The Shame Spiral:** You beat yourself up for still feeling behind, even when evidence says you're ahead.
Something to try
The Achievement Defusion (ACT-Based)
After your next win, set a 3-minute timer. Write down the achievement, then label the thought that follows: 'I'm having the thought that it's not enough.' This creates space between you and the thought, which ACT research shows reduces fusion with self-critical narratives. It won't 'fix' perfectionism, but it interrupts the automatic bar-moving.
This is pattern interrupt, not a cure. To stop the loop entirely, you need support that untangles where 'never enough' started.
What to expect in therapy
Therapy for this often uses ACT to separate your values from borrowed 'shoulds,' and CBT to challenge the self-criticism loops. Sessions focus on making goals feel like yours again, not a constant test.
The day you finish something and actually feel done—that's possible.
Ready for support that fits?
Most productivity hacks make perfectionism worse by adding more goals. If you've tried therapy before and it felt like just talking in circles, our matching focuses on patterns—not just symptoms—so you get a clinician who actually understands perfectionism-driven stuckness.