I Don't Recognize Myself: Therapy for Self-Image After Trauma
- ✓I avoid mirrors because I don't recognize the person looking back
- ✓I tell people 'the old me died that day' and they look at me like I'm exaggerating
- ✓My friend sent me this with 'I think this might help'—she's noticed how much I've changed
You're not broken, and you're not making this up. Self-image shifts are a known trauma response.
According to research, up to 70% of trauma survivors report feeling 'permanently changed' by their experience. This is a known response, not a personal failing.
This can feel like you've been replaced by a stranger—more anxious, less capable, permanently changed. [It's different from chronic low self-esteem](/topics/self-image/low-self-esteem/) because it's tied to a specific before-and-after moment. Trauma-focused therapy helps you separate who you are from what happened to you.
Why Trauma Hijacks Your Self-Image
Trauma doesn't just create memories—it can overwrite your internal voice. Instead of 'I am capable,' the story becomes 'I am unsafe, damaged, or broken.' Research from Frontiers in Psychology (2017) shows this happens because trauma encodes self-beliefs alongside threat responses. [Unlike a lifelong inner critic](/topics/self-image/inner-critic/), this is a specific event that shattered your previous identity. Modalities like EMDR and trauma-informed CFT update these 'stuck' self-perceptions so your narrative reflects who you are now, not who the trauma made you believe you are.
Signs Your Self-Image Changed After Trauma
- •**You Don't Recognize Yourself:** You feel like a different person—or like the 'real you' is gone.
- •**Your Body Feels Alien:** You avoid mirrors, photos, or physical intimacy because your body doesn't feel like yours anymore.
- •**New Beliefs Feel Permanent:** 'I'm broken,' 'I'm damaged goods,' or 'I'll never be safe again' feel like facts, not feelings.
- •**The Shame Is Different:** This isn't 'I made a mistake'—it's 'I am the mistake,' and it feels unfixable.
Something to try
The 'Then vs. Now' Anchor (Narrative Technique)
Write two short statements: 'What the trauma made me believe about myself' vs. 'One thing I know is true about me today.' Spend 2 minutes on each. This creates distance between the trauma's story and your current reality. Research shows externalizing the trauma narrative reduces its grip on self-concept (Frontiers in Psychology, 2017).
This is a starting point—to rewrite the full story, you need support that processes the trauma itself, not just the beliefs it left behind.
What to expect in therapy
Therapy will likely involve trauma-focused work like EMDR or trauma-informed CBT to process the memories, plus CFT to rebuild self-compassion. You won't just 'think positive'—you'll update the stuck beliefs at their source.
With the right support, you can feel like yourself again—or discover who you're becoming on the other side.
Ready for support that fits?
If you've tried therapy before and it didn't touch this core feeling of being 'changed,' or if you're worried you'll never feel like yourself again—matching matters. We pair you with clinicians who specialize in trauma-altered self-concept, not just general self-esteem.