Stress Lives in My Body
- ✓My shoulders haven't dropped in years
- ✓I clench my jaw so hard I crack teeth at night
- ✓My doctor says nothing is wrong, but my body feels like it's under attack
You're not imagining it. Your body is speaking a language your mind hasn't learned to hear yet.
Most people with chronic stress experience physical symptoms before they recognize the mental load. According to the APA, the body often signals what the mind tries to ignore.
This is your nervous system stuck in threat mode, even when you're logically safe. Your body isn't betraying you—it's protecting you the only way it knows how. This pattern is especially common when [stress turns into panic](/topics/stress/panic-attacks/), where the body learns to fear its own signals. (APA, 2023)
Why Your Body Holds Stress (The High Gear Problem)
Stress often feels like your body is stuck in high gear—tight shoulders, shallow breathing, and a mind that keeps scanning for problems even when you want to rest. When your recovery system can't kick in, your body stays braced, releasing stress hormones that keep muscles tense and your heart rate elevated. This somatic stress response is a real physiological state, not 'just in your head.' It's your [nervous system regulation](/topics/stress/) failing to activate the brake pedal. (Mayo Clinic, 2023)
Signs Stress is Living in Your Body
- •**The Constant Tension:** Your shoulders, jaw, or stomach feel perpetually clenched, even when you're trying to relax.
- •**Physical Symptoms Without Medical Cause:** Headaches, digestive issues, or chest tightness that doctors can't explain through tests.
- •**Sleep Won't Reset You:** You sleep, but wake up just as exhausted—your body never truly powers down.
- •**The Shame of 'Being Fine':** You feel guilty because your life looks manageable, but your body is screaming.
Something to try
The Extended Exhale (DBT 'TIPP' Skill)
Inhale for 4 counts, then exhale for 6-8 counts. Do this for 2 minutes. The longer exhale activates your parasympathetic nervous system—the 'brake' pedal that tells your body it's safe to downshift. This isn't just calming; it's a direct physiological override of the stress response. (APA, 2023)
This is a circuit breaker, not a wiring fix. To retrain your body's stress response, you need support that maps your specific triggers.
What to expect in therapy
Therapy for somatic stress often combines CBT for the worry loops with MBSR or somatic therapy to teach your nervous system a new baseline. You'll learn to notice early body signals before they cascade, and practice regulation skills in real-time.
With the right match, your body can learn to exhale again—literally and figuratively.
Ready for support that fits your body?
If you've tried talk therapy but your body still feels stuck, you need a clinician who speaks both languages—mind and body. We match you to somatic-informed therapists who understand that your shoulders carry what your words can't yet name. You don't have to figure out which therapy works—we do that for you.