I Don't Get Why I React This Way: Understanding Trauma Responses
- ✓I feel like I'm watching myself react and can't stop it
- ✓I go from fine to flooded and have no idea what happened
- ✓My therapist told me to notice my patterns but I can't even name them
You're not broken. Your body learned to protect you, and these reactions made sense once.
According to the APA, trauma responses are learned protective strategies that affect millions of adults. You're not alone in feeling confused by your own automatic reactions.
These aren't character flaws—they're your nervous system bracing, scanning, or shutting down to keep you safe. [When your body won't stop bracing](/topics/trauma/hypervigilance), you're experiencing one common pattern. What feels like 'overreacting' is often a body that never got the 'all clear' signal.
Why Your Nervous System Reacts This Way
Trauma isn't only the memory of what happened—it's how your nervous system learned to protect you afterward (APA, 2017). Whether you are bracing against danger through hyperarousal or shutting down to survive it through hypoarousal, these are learned protection strategies, not character flaws. [Understanding trauma triggers](/topics/trauma/trauma-triggers) helps explain why your system reacts before your conscious mind catches up. This is why mapping your pattern comes before choosing a therapy.
Signs You're Dealing With Trauma Responses (Not Just 'Overreacting')
- •**The Shift Feels Automatic:** You go from okay to overwhelmed in seconds before you can think
- •**Your Body Has a Mind of Its Own:** Heart racing, muscles tensing, or going numb without any warning
- •**You Can't Explain It Afterwards:** 'Why did I react like that?' is a constant question you ask yourself
- •**The Shame Adds a Layer:** You judge yourself for reactions your body insisted were necessary
Something to try
Orienting: The Slow Scan (Somatic Technique)
Turn your head slowly and name 5 neutral things you see (colors, shapes, textures). Let your eyes land on what looks safe or steady. This tells your brain you are here, not 'there.' It works by activating your orienting response, which naturally calms the threat-detection system. (NIMH, 2022)
This is a flashlight in the dark—to rebuild your relationship with your reactions, you need support that maps the whole terrain.
What to expect in therapy
Therapy for trauma responses often starts with stabilization—learning to notice your patterns without getting overwhelmed. Depending on whether you run 'hot' or 'cold,' this might include Trauma-focused CBT, EMDR, or Somatic-Informed Care.
With the right support, you can understand your reactions instead of fearing them.
Ready to understand your reactions?
If you've tried to make sense of this on your own and still feel lost, you don't have to figure it out alone. We match you with a clinician who can help map your pattern and work with it safely.